Are all systems go yet?

Waiting. I don't know a single person who likes to wait especially when it's something that is very important to you. There is some random statistic out there that says that most people spend X% of their lives waiting. I probably don't have it right at all, but you get the idea. Waiting is hard and humbling.
It makes me really think hard about how our lives are totally wrapped up in instant gratification. Deep thoughts for sure, but hence the humbling aspect of them. As much as I dislike waiting for things, I dislike it even more to know that I am selfish because I don't wait for them. Hmm...
The problem is that I don't know what I'm waiting for. It's like that U2 song "...but I still haven't found what I'm looking for." Just like that. I felt that there is a reason why I came out to Idaho and there is a reason why I lost my job. And there still is a reason why I am still here rather than somewhere else. I just don't know what it all means just yet or what I'm meant to learn or experience here. Maybe I'm just too close to the picture to see what's really going on. Anyone else want to take a crack at interpreting the big picture?
I was at bible study tonight and the topics were full of learning. There were a few things that really took root in me though. One was that fear and discouragement are not from God. Wow. So, this idea that of not knowing and being scared and tired and discouraged about this is not of God. Good to know. The second big thing was that unity and uniformity are not the same thing. Well, instinctively we know that, however it is another to put it into practice.
I got a job offer for a camp in the San Juan Islands today and they offerred me more money that had been originally discussed in the interview. That was great. The position doesn't start until March. I'm trying to figure out what to do until then. Maybe I'll just stay here. Not sure yet because there are a lot of things that are still really up in the air right now. It's the planner side of me that is freaking out a little bit on that one. But, it's late and I have to get up for work in the morning.