There's silver somewhere....sometimes I can't find it.

So, it's been awhile since blogging last happened. It's rough when you're blocked from a website on a government computer and you don't really have another option. Oh well. Those of you who know what's been going on in my life...well, you know it! Those of you who don't...shame on you for not asking! Ha, just kidding.
So, this summer was amazing. More than amazing, it was peaceful and full of serenity and lots of ponderings and journal entries. No, I refuse to post my journal entries on the internet. A girl has some boundries and that is one of them!
Anyway, I graduated finally and went to Isle Royale for one of the best summers in living memory. I enjoyed it thoroughly. You can really see and start to understand yourself when you gaze at your reflection in the clear blue waters of Lake Superior. She inspires a lot in humans.
So, I left Isle Royale to move to northern Idaho for an americorps job. I was so excited to work at this place doing environmental education for a whole year and meeting new people, seeing a new place of the world that I have never experienced. My mom and I road tripped out here to see and move me in. We had a wonderful time and I would never trade that time with her for anything in the world. Even knowing what would come after, I would not have wanted to do anything different.
I have met some really amazing and generous people here. They are very friendly and giving of themselves which is a fantastic jewel to find among so much wheat. Yes, wheat. There are fields of it everywhere and it is beautiful against the saphire hue of the sky during the day. Ah such colors!
Well, an unexpected road block came up this week in which this amazing position that I accepted to take, I actually can't do it anymore. Nothing serious with me, other than due to me doing the other two jobs the past summers that I asked for an americorps award, well, I'm not allowed to do another one.
You can only imagine how sad, upset, and scared I was at that moment just praying that somehow this was all a huge misunderstanding and that there was some way possible that I could still do this work, but not have the education award or something. Anything other than the knowing that I moved two time zones away from family and friends for a job that I aparently don't have anymore.
I felt like someone had taken my legs out from underneath me and I was just sitting in a mud puddle on my butt wondering what happened and how I fell so hard and fast. Not exactly a great week for me. There was a lot of crying. I mean A LOT of crying and some hyperventillation that occured which perhaps were both the result of shock and minor panic attacks. Not entirely uncommon when such things happen out of the blue like this.
So, like I said, everyone has been just amazing considering all this happened. They were amazing before, but are still just as amazing right now. I think that's why I feel so torn as to whether I should move and try a new place, but yet, I really would like to stay here because I have forged some great friendships over such a short time and I really hesistate to loose those so soon.
That and the director of the EE place called the mayor of the city on my behalf to ask if there were any jobs that she knew of. The mayor. Someone called the mayor for me. How cool is that? I mean, I'd rather it be under different circumstances, however I feel just blessed regardless to be surrounded by such amazing people who are willing to help out an almost stranger in a bad position. There are such good people in this world and it would be a good idea to remind myself that it doesn't cost anything to me to help someone else out who is in need.
Anyway, I've been on resume booster kicks to get my resumes up to date so that I can apply for some jobs that can help me get where I think that I'd like to be professionally rather than working odd jobs. However, if odd jobs are where it will have to be for a while, then so be it. I don't mind just as long as I don't have to do them for very long just because I get really antsy and end up getting kind of cranky sometimes if I do them for too long.
Well, I think that I'm going to go rock climbing tomorrow with some friends I've met here. I haven't decided yet, but I'm pretty sure I want to go. I've been too house bound lately, but at the same time, I'm not exactly sure if I want to be around people right now. I know it will be better if I am and that I'll have fun, but just the hermit side of me is kind of ruling right now and just wanting to be alone with my thoughts and my journal. Oh well, I'll decide tomorrow morning.
Cheers all,
Laura