Are all systems go yet?

Waiting. I don't know a single person who likes to wait especially when it's something that is very important to you. There is some random statistic out there that says that most people spend X% of their lives waiting. I probably don't have it right at all, but you get the idea. Waiting is hard and humbling.
It makes me really think hard about how our lives are totally wrapped up in instant gratification. Deep thoughts for sure, but hence the humbling aspect of them. As much as I dislike waiting for things, I dislike it even more to know that I am selfish because I don't wait for them. Hmm...
The problem is that I don't know what I'm waiting for. It's like that U2 song "...but I still haven't found what I'm looking for." Just like that. I felt that there is a reason why I came out to Idaho and there is a reason why I lost my job. And there still is a reason why I am still here rather than somewhere else. I just don't know what it all means just yet or what I'm meant to learn or experience here. Maybe I'm just too close to the picture to see what's really going on. Anyone else want to take a crack at interpreting the big picture?
I was at bible study tonight and the topics were full of learning. There were a few things that really took root in me though. One was that fear and discouragement are not from God. Wow. So, this idea that of not knowing and being scared and tired and discouraged about this is not of God. Good to know. The second big thing was that unity and uniformity are not the same thing. Well, instinctively we know that, however it is another to put it into practice.
I got a job offer for a camp in the San Juan Islands today and they offerred me more money that had been originally discussed in the interview. That was great. The position doesn't start until March. I'm trying to figure out what to do until then. Maybe I'll just stay here. Not sure yet because there are a lot of things that are still really up in the air right now. It's the planner side of me that is freaking out a little bit on that one. But, it's late and I have to get up for work in the morning.

Rings and Hot Springs

So, originally I had planned to go to Banff with friends from Halloween weekend to this past weekend. That didn't work out like I had hoped, however I did have a fantastic weekend regardless.
Ginger told me that Pete had proposed (yeah!) and she still has a few weeks working fire crew. I took a few extra days off and I went on an adventure into the mountains. I went to Lolo Pass and camped out. It was snowing! It was beautiful and yet made me fully aware of how I really need to buy some chains for Eleanor and soon! Driving in the snow in the mountains without them is not a very good idea!
I drove along the scenic highway 12 all the way up to Lolo Pass. It was beautiful driving along the clearwater and the lochsa rivers. The western larch (or tamarack as they are sometimes called) were starting to loose their needles, but most of them still looked like they had been touched by king midas' hand they were so golden! Even in the fading daylight they glowed.
I made it up the road only to discover that unlike lower down, the campgrounds were not open at all. So it is dark now and starting to snow and I don't really have a place to crash for the night. I ended up driving up the whole way to the pass and parked in the rest area/visitor's center parking lot and camping out in Eleanor. She's a trooper that car. Nothing against GG, but GG couldn't have made it here in the mountains. She's more for the open spaces of the prairie.
It was great sleeping in Eleanor and I even had heated bathrooms at my disposal! Not bad for living free out of your car! I slept well and awoke to rain patterning the windows. I was still out of batteries for my camera and running a little low on gas, so I decided to forego some serious expeditioning in the woods that were wet, snowy, and dreary. It would have been nice to explore there more, but I have a feeling that I'm going to go back there for some serious snowshoeing later this winter. Yes!
Eventually I made it into the ranger station where Ginger is staying. We ate dinner, talked a lot, watched a movie with Rock and went to sleep. The next day we slowly made our way out of bed and made breakfast while we thought about what we'd like to do for the day. Bouldering and hot springs won out so off to this sweet bouldering area between whitehall and butte. So neat! There were boulders everywhere! I'd like to just camp there for a few days and play around on the rocks! It was damp, but the rain held off until the end of the day which was great. Then we drove to this hot spring next to a river on our way back and it was a little too hot, but we hung out there for a bit and then started to make our journey back to the ranger station. We both were pretty tired but we made some dinner of kettle popped pop corn and talked some more. One of my favorite things about hanging out with Ginger is the fact that we could physically do absolutely nothing for a whole weekend and just talk, and it would still be the perfect weekend together. I always love our time together.
So, but not everything about the weekend was wonderful. After being around people who have been sick for the last three weeks, I knew it was bound to happen to me as well. Sure enough, I have a cold. I stayed home from work yesterday, and went in for half a day today. I was cold and tired, so I was ready to come home. I am going to shoot for a full day tomorrow though. I did go to bible study tonight though and it was fantastic! Thank goodness I found one with people that I really do enjoy. I feel like I'm starting to settle in here at last. I'm excited, and yet worry about what is coming next. I know I shouldn't worry, but I do. Anwyay, I need sleep to get well. I'll post pictures another time.
Dream sweetly all!

God is in the Rain

I feel that even though rain is cold and damp and generally makes you want to stay indoors and do absolutely nothing, I love it. It also make colors stand out more. The leaves are doing incredible things with colors right now. The Mountain Ash trees are this orange/red color and the Sugar Maples are brilliant yellow against their dark wet bark and the gray color of the sky. Contrasts, that's why I like the rain. I also like the way it sounds on the roof of your house, your tent, or even pouring through gutters like little white-water rivers along the streets. I love walking in the rain feeling the drops hitting my head and my face as I go on whatever journey I'm bent on that day. Rain is good. It feeds the earth and sooths my soul.

It's raining today in case you haven't guessed. It rained yesterday too. It was extremely refreshing. I was told by an aquaintence that so enters the rainy season here in Moscow. I had no idea that there was any such thing! I only thought it was part of winter finally coming. I've been looking forward to some winter action and some snow. Many people here don't like snow which I find really ironic. It's just like people in Duluth not likeing snow. MOVE!

It doesn't make sense to me for people to not like an essential part of their community's ecosystem and natural cycle. If you don't like it, move! There's no reason to nay-say on my winter wonderland thank you very much! I love winter! Bring on the 5 ft of snow in one day! I have snowshoes and can get around just fine. In fact, I relish in the challenge and adventure of it all! Grass is always greener and all that though.

I have a job offer for an outdoor science school in southern California. I'm not sure about it just yet. There are things that I like about it, but I find myself feeling slightly squeamish about moving even further away from people I care about and I know. Seems odd for me to say so, but it takes a lot of you to build friends and relationships within a brand new community and it takes time. Time to make those connections and time to allow them to grow. I feel that if I leave for something that I'm not 100% on, that I'm running away from the thing I've started here.

I also know that I like Moscow, but I don't believe that I'll live here for very long. I don't know how else to explain it other than I don't feel a connection here that I have to other places that I've been. Only time will tell though.

Food stamps rock my world!

I just got my food stamps and I am so thankful that I have them! I can shop at the co-op with them! Yahoo!

It's a new month full of new possibilities. Who knows what will happen?
I went to visit Ginger in the Big Hole Valley of Montana where she has been stationed on a fire crew for the summer. It's a sweet place. It's very rural in the sense that the cattle out numer the people by 10:1 odds. So, it's quiet in both good and sometimes not so good ways depending on how you look at it.

It was great to just hang out the two of us and it was a much needed respite from life for me. We visited the National Battlefield there and I talked to some of the rangers there to get a feel for the area and what they thought of the job since I've applied for one there among others. I did get a job here in town and they want to hire me full time which is good. I am torn though if I should stay here or take the opportunities that may arise with all the other jobs that I've applied for.
We'll see I guess. In the meantime though, I've been reading alot. Those of you who really liked the Eragon books, the new one is out and I'm about half way through it and it is fantastic so far! I highly recommend it. I also have been baking bread and making good squash recipies. Yum!

Not a whole lot going on otherwise. Just doing what I can to keep my head above water for now and hoping and praying that something will come my way to stand on for a while. Oh the life of a brand new working girl fresh from the college campus!

There's silver somewhere....sometimes I can't find it.

So, it's been awhile since blogging last happened. It's rough when you're blocked from a website on a government computer and you don't really have another option. Oh well. Those of you who know what's been going on in my life...well, you know it! Those of you who don't...shame on you for not asking! Ha, just kidding.
So, this summer was amazing. More than amazing, it was peaceful and full of serenity and lots of ponderings and journal entries. No, I refuse to post my journal entries on the internet. A girl has some boundries and that is one of them!
Anyway, I graduated finally and went to Isle Royale for one of the best summers in living memory. I enjoyed it thoroughly. You can really see and start to understand yourself when you gaze at your reflection in the clear blue waters of Lake Superior. She inspires a lot in humans.
So, I left Isle Royale to move to northern Idaho for an americorps job. I was so excited to work at this place doing environmental education for a whole year and meeting new people, seeing a new place of the world that I have never experienced. My mom and I road tripped out here to see and move me in. We had a wonderful time and I would never trade that time with her for anything in the world. Even knowing what would come after, I would not have wanted to do anything different.
I have met some really amazing and generous people here. They are very friendly and giving of themselves which is a fantastic jewel to find among so much wheat. Yes, wheat. There are fields of it everywhere and it is beautiful against the saphire hue of the sky during the day. Ah such colors!
Well, an unexpected road block came up this week in which this amazing position that I accepted to take, I actually can't do it anymore. Nothing serious with me, other than due to me doing the other two jobs the past summers that I asked for an americorps award, well, I'm not allowed to do another one.
You can only imagine how sad, upset, and scared I was at that moment just praying that somehow this was all a huge misunderstanding and that there was some way possible that I could still do this work, but not have the education award or something. Anything other than the knowing that I moved two time zones away from family and friends for a job that I aparently don't have anymore.
I felt like someone had taken my legs out from underneath me and I was just sitting in a mud puddle on my butt wondering what happened and how I fell so hard and fast. Not exactly a great week for me. There was a lot of crying. I mean A LOT of crying and some hyperventillation that occured which perhaps were both the result of shock and minor panic attacks. Not entirely uncommon when such things happen out of the blue like this.
So, like I said, everyone has been just amazing considering all this happened. They were amazing before, but are still just as amazing right now. I think that's why I feel so torn as to whether I should move and try a new place, but yet, I really would like to stay here because I have forged some great friendships over such a short time and I really hesistate to loose those so soon.
That and the director of the EE place called the mayor of the city on my behalf to ask if there were any jobs that she knew of. The mayor. Someone called the mayor for me. How cool is that? I mean, I'd rather it be under different circumstances, however I feel just blessed regardless to be surrounded by such amazing people who are willing to help out an almost stranger in a bad position. There are such good people in this world and it would be a good idea to remind myself that it doesn't cost anything to me to help someone else out who is in need.
Anyway, I've been on resume booster kicks to get my resumes up to date so that I can apply for some jobs that can help me get where I think that I'd like to be professionally rather than working odd jobs. However, if odd jobs are where it will have to be for a while, then so be it. I don't mind just as long as I don't have to do them for very long just because I get really antsy and end up getting kind of cranky sometimes if I do them for too long.
Well, I think that I'm going to go rock climbing tomorrow with some friends I've met here. I haven't decided yet, but I'm pretty sure I want to go. I've been too house bound lately, but at the same time, I'm not exactly sure if I want to be around people right now. I know it will be better if I am and that I'll have fun, but just the hermit side of me is kind of ruling right now and just wanting to be alone with my thoughts and my journal. Oh well, I'll decide tomorrow morning.
Cheers all,
Laura

Blizzard Adventures Take 2!

Yep, that's right everyone! There was a blizzard in Duluth today! It started last night at around 10 pm or so and went straight into today. Thunder, lightning, snow, 60 mph winds the works! It has started to dwindle now but I can still see ominous looking clouds over the great big snow machine called Lake Superior. I didn't walk down to the Lakewalk like I had orignally planned. The friend I was going to hike down there with got sick. Which means in her world, her body finally was making her slow down enough to rest! Gee, I've never done that ;-).

So, instead of seeing the epic waves that were crashing madly against the rocks today, I filled the day with other adventures. Such as the power went out so me and my roomate Bill proceeded to cook our brunch-ish meal over a campstove on top of our stove. It was magical! Then my other roomate had to venture up the hill to pick up her boyfriend who got stuck up at Home Depot where he works. Don't ask me to tell the story, you'll just have to ask her about it.

Then Bill and I started to build a quinzee. For those of you who have no idea what this marvelous piece of heaven is, it is a pile of snow that is dug out to be able to live, sleep, play cards, whatever in. So, while we were doing that, we shoveled the side walks and the stairs while the snow for our quinzee was settling. We ended up finding the ONE pizza place that was open and delivering still and ordered a couple. Such bliss! Then after pizza, beer, and a mid afternoon movie, we suited up and went back out to dig out the quinzee. We're almost done, but both Bill and I an were really tired and it is almost cleared out. We'll finish it tomorrow and sleep outside in it tomorrow night. What a wonderful day! Such adventures should be had every day!

The Archipelago Awaits

I bet you didn't know that Isle Royale is an Archipelago. It is one main island with lots of little islands all around it. Kind of neat. Yes, I am going to be at Isle Royale this summer! Yeah! I am excited for it and yet the choices seem to find me yet. The day I decided to go to Isle Royale, I recieved two more calls to set up interviews! One from Grand Teton and the other from the Raptor Center in St. Paul! Crazy!

Another thing that's crazy is the fact that there is only about four more weeks in the semester and then I am done. Whoa. I just re-read that sentence and somehow can't believe it just yet. I will be done with college. Have a degree and away I go! I haven't quite wrapped my head around that just yet! I'm excited to say the least!

I am also excited because a lot of old and new friends will be in the area (aka aroundish Duluth) this summer. I am looking forward to being able to get off the island once or twice to hang out with them! Some of them I haven't seen for a very long time so I am looking forward to being able to at least spend a little bit of time with them.

I also know that an old classmate will also be at Isle Royale this summer which is cool because it means that I already know someone there and like to hang out with them. That will be nice too. Lots to look forward to, but I can't get too far ahead of myself. I have still got quite a plate full of school to do before I even get to that. Hope everyone is well and I'll write again soon.

Cheers,

Laura